Global warm my cold buttocks

IN the famous words of Andre 3000 "You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can't predict the weather."

Two years ago, everyone was pointing to the skies saying, "See, all of these hurricanes are a sign of global warming." Some people even went so far as to say that "Hurricane frequency is a sign of global climate change." Fundamentalists we screaming from the rooftops that the hurricanes were a sign of end-times, and Jesus was back in fashion for a moment.

With Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth winning a Oscar this year and Green Week making its debut on Sunday Night football, it is clear that America has embraced the concept of global warming. Stage One complete.

But what the hell are we doing about it?

Generally, nothing. And Danish economist Bjorn Lomborg argues that as long as we continue to focus on socioeconomic problems in the world - like poverty, starvation and Bob Geldoff concerts - that isn't such a horrible approach. Lomborg released a "Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalists Guide to Global Warming" earlier this year in which he essentially argues that if global warming is happening, there is nothing that can be done at this point to stop it. What needs to be done at this point is to invest money into developing nations now to limit poverty and the harmful effects of developing without concern for the environment. At least this will slow the process of global warming a bit, and it will allow many impoverished people to die with a bit more money, right? (Click here to hear him talk about it.)

Is Lomborg right?

Well, from a hurricane standpoint, he may not be wrong. Perhaps the media is hyping this idea of global warming a bit. I mean, really, do you remember hearing about a hurricane this year?

As of Octobers end, the Atlantic listing with the National Hurricane Center was only up to Kiko, which means it was at 11 for the year, and believe me when I tell you they were mostly weak cyclones - certainly not the category 4 or 5's that Katrina and Rita showed us in 2005.

One. Hurricane Felix back in August, killed 101 people in clay huts in the Dominican Republic. One. Hurricane Dean threatened winds over 160 mph.
One. Hurricane Flossy posed any threat in the Pacific ocean at all.

Yeah, it was hot in October. So what? It's hot in January in California every year. You know what they call it? Earthquake season. The truth is that the weather is unstable, and you certainly can't predict what it is going to be. That's why network news stations pay so-called meteorologists millions of dollars to make their best guesses about it.

I'm not saying that global warming is a lie, merely saying: Stop looking at temperatures as a reflection of greenhouse gases. It don't work that way. I swear.